The last month or so I’ve had a lump the size of a golf ball protruding from the front of my neck. Thankfully, I’ve resisted the temptation to Google myself a diagnosis (anybody who’s ever done that knows exactly what I’m talking about). This morning I decide I’ve had enough with this thing, so I call around and find a doctor with an empty time slot during my lunch break. I go there thinking he’ll just want me to get a CT scan or something.
Nah. He lays me down and shoots the thing up with local anesthetic, which doesn’t really do its job as well as we both are hoping. Its ok. I’m tough. Kinda.
Then he takes a scalpel and, as I’m nervously watching him out of the bottoms of my eyes, slits my neck open and starts carving the thing out.
“It’s just a sebaceous cyst,” he says. “Men get them all the time. Usually they burst or just go away.”
I guess my sebaceous cysts are as stubborn as I am, because this sucker wasn’t going away on its own.
After “bursting all the walls” inside the cyst, he patches me up and sends me back to work. It kinda hurts now, but as I look at the hole in the mirror, it’s not as big as I imagined it. It itches like crazy, though, and I can hardly get my mind off of it.
Anyway, for non cyst-related reasons, I’ll be disconnected from cyberspace for a few days. So comments left by first-time posters will be moderated when I reconnect. I just can’t bring myself to disable comment moderation yet. I know, I’ll chill out about that eventually, give me time.
And another thing- Does anybody want to go to the Jack Johnson concert on the 18th? I had planned to go with the Mrs. and make it a nice date, but she politely informed me that sitting outside on a concrete bench in 102-degree weather for hours on end, surrounded by teeny boppers, getting her eardrums blown out, isn’t necessarily her idea of a nice date. And besides, what on earth would we do with the kids? So unless anybody’s up for it (it’s BYOT, by the way (Bring Your Own Ticket)), I’ll be going solo.